


United States Of Regina

by morganarosier



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Curse, F/F, Gen, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-05-20 16:37:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14898146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morganarosier/pseuds/morganarosier
Summary: Regina Mills has problems, multiple personalit disorder being the biggest of them. With the arrival of Emma Swan, her son's biological mother, all of her egos want to come out to play.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello...
> 
> Well, let me explain this story to you.
> 
> I was watching this tv show called "united states of tara" and kind of fell in love with it and had this crazy idea of writing a fic based on the 'tara' character. I think things get explained a little bit in this chapter and if there's any more questions I am happy to answer it.
> 
> I don't have 'DID' nor do I know anyone who does, the only experience I have with it it's from the tv show and the research I did online so I'm sorry if this offends anyone in any way, that wasn't my intention.
> 
> English is not my first language and I am bound to make mistakes as i'm sure there's a lot of it here, so I apologize.
> 
> I don't own ouat or any of the characters.

Regina Mills has a problem.

She beated again on the coffee pot on the sink that had just stopped working, hoping that with a few tapes the green light would light up again indicating that the coffee was being prepared.

Okay, Regina Mills has several problems.

Apart from the fact that she woke up twenty minutes later this morning, delaying her routine and her coffee maker decided just not to cooperate, Regina has a dissociative identity disorder, best known as multiple personality.

Since she was a child she suffers with constant amnesia and conversations she doesn't remember having but was only officially diagnosed at age of twenty years old, after decades of undergoing therapy after therapy with countless doctors who didn't know what was happening to her.

Now, at thirty-two, Regina has learned to live with the disease and all the consequences of it but on days like this, she has to take a deep breath and hope that her medication will continue to do it's job.

"Mom?"

A voice echoed down the stairs and she was out of her reverie.

"In the kitchen."

Regina smiled as Henry stepped into her line of sight, with his backpack on and his hair tousled, he's the most precious thing she has.

"Eat your breakfast fast honey, we're already late as it is" she said and took the cereal out of the cupboard and placed it on the table, this was not usually the breakfast she would serve but with the clock against them, that would have to do.

Henry had not been planned, she laughed to herself, at all. Regina, well, or someone inside her, found him 10 years ago at the side of the road at the corner of Boston General Hospital, only a few days of life, and when she came back to herself she had already put him in the car and was driving home back to Storybrooke, where she registered him as her own.

She hung up the coffee pot, it seems that today she wouldn't have her beloved coffee in the morning.

Only when she was already with Henry in her arms in the living room of her house did she realize what she had done. At twenty-two years old and only two in her treatment she had a child to care for.

Her therapist, new at the time and the only one to ever found out what was wrong with her, Archie, almost had a heart attack when she found herself in the middle of the night at his door and a crying baby on her arms.

She doesn't remember much of that night but she does remembers his face.

"Mom, let's go"

She nodded as she picked up the keys, Henry running in front of her, it seemed that with each passing day he wanted to spend less and less time with her.

She locked the door.

In the car he was looking at his cell phone and not her direction, Regina also didn't make much effort to communicate, her mind far away.

During the ten years she spent with Henry the brunette didn't have many episodes, Archie doubled her medication and everything seemed to go well taking a few minor incidents over the years.

Her disturbance consists of the so-called 'alters', completely different personalities of her own that assume her body over a period of time, which she calls episode, most often being Alice, a tough and neurotic personality, Gina, innocent and damaged that takes the form of a child, Archie likes to say that is her most vulnerable form. Gina doesn't like to come out that much.

And of course, Angel, who ironically, is her wild side.

Parking the car at the entrance of the school, the brunette shook her head as if to get rid of those thoughts.

"Have a nice day at school, Henry," she said as he slammed the car door, just nodding slightly toward her. Sighing she started the car again and headed for the town hall.

After all, it wouldn't be good for the mayor's reputation to be late.

It wasn't until ten minutes after Regina had spoken to the director that she began to panic. Henry was not at school, which in her mind, wasn't possible, had left him this morning herself.

"He didn't come in today, Madame Mayor." Director Nelson later commented as she entered his office. Mr. Nelson was a fat, small man who didn't frighten anyone, and at that moment everything inside the brunette screamed for her to strangle him.

"Like I already said on the phone, I left him here myself, I'm sure he went to school," she said snorting.

Mr. Nelson shook his head.

"We've already notified the authorities and the Sheriff is going to your house right as we speak."

Regina grabbed her bag and drove faster than she'd done before toward the mansion on Main Street. She would deal with Mr. Nelson later.

The blinking red and blue lights on her street indicated that the Sheriff was already on her property. She parked the car in street, with no pretense of opening the garage and wasting time. Reaching up to find the key, her hand trembled and her breath unburdened.

She leaned against the black Mercedes and her head against the driver's door, having an episode right now was everything she didn't need, it would break her to see one of her alters taking over in such an important situation.

Her son was missing.

"Regina, are you okay?" She heard the voice from a distance.

She felt she was out of her body until Sheriff Graham touched her shoulder and she came back to herself.

"Have you found him yet?" She asked as he turned.

He shook his head and she slowly let herself rest in his arms. Her relationship with the Sheriff wasn't like that, but Angel had a much more complicated situation with the man, and every time she took control she ran into his arms and into his bed.

Regina turned away.

"Go find him."

Graham nodded and headed for the car, still with the siren lights on as Regina hurried into Henry's room, hoping he would be right there and at the same time knowing that he wouldn't be.

She sat on Henry's bed, the sheets still half mumbled for them being late in the morning, and inhaled the scent she knew belonged to her son. Closing her eyes, she felt light as a feather and gradually lost consciousness.

She opened her eyes after a few seconds like Alice. Her reproachful look soon finding the bed messed up. "This boy will never learn ..." she murmured softly to herself as she removed the sheets and pillowcases, tidying up and cleaning up everything she could see. She snorted and for a second blinked as if battling herself until she smiled and walked towards her room.

In the bathroom she hummed to herself as she examined her reflection and took off the lipstick Regina had put in the morning. Nothing pleased her, let alone those pants that the other insisted on wearing, as if that gave her some respect. Walking toward the closet on the other side of the room Alice tried not to think about the boy who had put Regina in that state.

Recently, these episodes were occurring more and more often. She chose a half-beige dress that would show off her figure and dressed it, finally getting rid of the pants that had bothered her. Before leaving the room she checked if any message from the Sheriff had arrived, Alice didn't like the boy very much, but she was not heartless either.

Seeing nothing for Regina on the cell phone's screen she went to the kitchen. Nothing like cooking to de-stress and calming down, after all, that's what she existed for.

A general cleaning in the room and two pies later, Alice heard the bell ring and in a flash she closed her eyes and let Regina take control as if she was never there.

The brunette leaned on the wall and blinked a few times until she heard the doorbell, which she didn't know was the second time someone had press it. She didn't know how much time had passed or whether or not she wished the Sheriff had already found Henry. She wanted him to be home, safe and secure, but she didn't want him to see her as Alice.

Well, not anymore than he already had anyway.

"Regina?"

She opened the door.

"Do you know where he is?"

The sheriff shook his head.

"We looked everywhere, the whole town, the outskirts of the school, Granny's ..." He sighed. "He isn't here."

Regina swallowed,

"But ..." He paused. "Jack, the guy who works at the candy store in front of the bus stop said he saw Henry around nine o'clock getting on a bus to Boston."

The brunette narrowed her eyes.

"Boston?"

Graham nodded.

"Do you have any idea what he might want to do there? Or does he know anyone there?"

Regina took a deep breath and shook her head.

"Come in."

She said between her teeth as she looked at the clock hanging in the foyer. It was night, and she couldn't remember anything she'd done since she'd gotten home around noon.

The two had barely sat down when Regina heard the sound of a car stampede in her street. She exchanged glances with Graham for a few seconds before walking towards the door only to run when she heard, loud and clear, her son's voice. Opening the door, she barely believed when she saw Henry coming towards her.

"Henry, where were you?"

She only remembers the sensation of having him in her arms again for a few moments before he let go and turn to the hall, addressing her the worst words a child can say to a mother.

"I found my real mom" A pain in her chest hit her like a gunshot and the brunette didn't even feel it when Henry let go of her once and ran into the house or when Graham said he would check him to see if he was okay. She just looked up to the person she hadn't noticed before.

A medium-sized blonde wearing a red jacket that almost hurt her eyes, her posture showing signs that she was ready to flee any minute.

"You're Henry's biological mother " She asked still in choke.

"Hi"

It was the only thing the blonde said and she suddenly felt a lightness on her eyes, a long blink was all she needed, and when she opened them again, the person staring at the stranger at her door was no longer Regina Mills.

"Would you like a glass of the best apple cider you've ever tasted?"

It was Alice.

"Got anything stronger?" The blonde countered.

And Alice was not a person you should mess with.


	2. Chapter 2

Archie once said that Alice was the protector and she would come out every time Regina felt threatened, but she ignored it, what did the cricket know anyway. He was proved right tho, when she looked at Emma Swan's face - it was like she could feel her whole world collapsing around her and she couldn't face it, so the other her had to take over and that's how they were in this situation.

You see, Regina wasn't used to coexisting, usually when the alters took over she would black out and remember nothing when she returned, but right now, she could see and hear everything that was happening in her living room.

Alice's small courtesy.

"The father?" she heard coming out of her mouth without her permission.

"Doesn't even know..." the blonde in front of them said while taking in the room's decoration. "You don't have to worry about him." She finished.

"Hm..." Alice narrowed her eyes. "Do I need to be worried about you, Miss Swan?" And for once Regina didn't try to fight her, she wanted to know the answer to that as well.

"Absolutely not."

Good.

And then Regina was gone again.

When Regina woke up the next morning, she had a hard time remembering the past events and was confused for a second. Getting up she went for a shower and stopped by the mirror, looking into her own eyes she wondered if one day she would be able to be normal and not this freak show she learned to live with.

'Gina not freak' She could hear Gina's voice inside her head, with a childlike quality to it, and she put both hands against her temples. Alright.

She shook herself and went straight for the shower, the cold water immediately making her more alert and the pressure of it relaxing her beyond measure.

The urge to cry was strong but she was Regina Mills, the mayor of this town and she wouldn't succumb to it.

She remembered Henry.

Still on her bathrobe, she opened the door and went to check on him. His door was already open indicating that he was awake.

"Henry?"

"In the bathroom" He replied and she sat on his bed, hoping that they would have a conversation about why he had ran away yesterday.

Henry likes to think he's a grown up, but right now in his pajamas and eyes still red from sleepiness, he was anything but. Her heart ached for her to hug him, her fear from yesterday not forgotten but she decided to respect his space and simply wait for him to come to her.

'You're too easy on him' Alice whispered in her head and she had to shake herself once again for it to go away. She would not have anyone interrupting this.

"Henry, sit down" She called for him softly.

He did.

"I'm sorry mom." He started. "I didn't mean what I said… About you not being my mom"

She paused.

That had hurt but well… At least he was apologizing for it.

"Oh, sweetheart," She dragged him into her arms, finally. "It's okay"

"Just…" She whispered. "Honey, why did you run away? Why did you go looking for that woman?"

He bites his lips, debating if he should tell her or not but with one look at her face and he knows he has to tell the truth.

"I…" He shakes his head and Regina keeps massaging circles onto his shoulders, encouraging him to continue. "I went to find you help, mom"

She paused.

"Help?"

He smiled a little sad.

"I know about the alters, you know that I know, and I talked to Archie about it too, not that I would run away - please don't fight with him…" He started to explain so fast that she had to double her attention to catch everything. "You've been having more and more episodes and Alice is here more than you are and I…" He murmured. "I just wanted to help"

She had to force herself to breathe, she could feel a lightness starting to take over but she fought it.

"Henry…" She swallowed. "I don't understand, what does your birth mother have anything to do with my situation?"

He shone just like he always did when over excited about something.

"Because she's the savior."

The silence reigned in the room and for a second Regina had to wonder if Henry should be in therapy with her.

"Savior?" She asked trying to be patient.

"Yes mom, don't you see?" she shook his head. "I'll go get ready for school now" He finished, walking towards the bathroom once more.

Regina sat in his bed for more five minutes, staring at the wall before getting up and heading to the kitchen, still in her robes.

'One night in town and that blond woman is already driving him crazy' Alice said yet again and Regina tried hard to ignore her but she was becoming louder with each passing day. She started the coffee machine and went to her bedroom, looking around in her purse she found her medication, two blue pills and one red each morning, her hand shook as she swallowed them without any water.

She braced herself for the sickness that always came when she took them. The alters trying to make her vomit the pills every morning.

She tossed the rest of the medication on her purse, she had to take one more red pill on the afternoon and then one of each before going to sleep. Yesterday she hadn't done that and look what it got her.

'You can fight all you want sweetie, but you know I'm right' Alice's voice wasn't that strong anymore and she could easily ignore her while she put on some clothes for the day.

Hopefully, Emma Swan would be gone by the time they arrived in the town center and they wouldn't have to deal with her anymore. How could a woman that abandons her own son on the side of a road be anyone's savior? Henry was delusional.

Turns out, Emma Swan was not gone, in fact, if she were to believe the town gossip, she was very much staying.

To Alice's biggest disappointment, Regina wasn't furious with the blonde, she herself didn't know why, but decided to avoid confrontation since Miss Swan evoked a side of Alice that the woman didn't want out.

Not that she wanted Alice out in any way, good or bad.

She tried to focus on the paperwork on her desk and the meetings she was having today, but a phone call had to disrupt her day.

She ran as fast as she could to the police station, Henry was missing from school yet again, she needed to find the sheriff.

"Graham?!" She asked loudly when she got into the sheriff's department. "Henry is gone again…" She paused when she saw the blonde behind bars. What she was locked up for she didn't know but she could feel Alice's disgust and she was sure it showed on her face.

"What are you still doing here?" It was out of her mouth before she could stop it and she had to take a few breaths to calm down and remain in control.

"Hey lady, he's not with me" the blonde said in disdain. "Maybe you should keep a better eye on your kid"

Graham looked at Emma Swan with fear and a little bit of admiration for speaking to Regina in such manner. At the same time he had to place a hand on the brunette's shoulders, trying to ground her.

Regina breathed in and out fast, hands shaking. She turned to Graham and told him to find Henry while she excused herself to the station bathroom.

She leaned her head against the door, the lightness threatening to take over and opened her purse in desperation looking for the green pills she could only use in emergencies. She took one and swallowed with no water, her hand gradually becoming steadier as the pill settled in her stomach.

She needed to make an appointment with Archie as soon as she could. This was not normal anymore and she felt like she used to when she was young and untreated. He would have to double her medication or something like that, because it just wasn't working anymore.

She got out of the bathroom and went straight towards the two people on the center of the room.

"Well?"

Graham was shaking his head.

"Regina I don't know where he is…" He started and Regina was ready to say some not very nice things to him. "But Emma says she can help"

Her eyes found the blonde's.

"Finding people is what I do for a living"

Regina nodded. To hell with it, be the savior Miss Swan.

Prove me wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

Regina spend the rest of the day pacing around her house trying to calm herself and stay in control while Miss Swan was out looking for Henry. She had gave the woman her son's teachers name and address and she could start by there for the brunette was sure Mary Margareth was involved in some way in all this mess Henry had created.

Her hand wouldn't stop shaking and Alice wouldn't stop trying to get out so she reached for her phone, Archie's number being number 1 on her dial list.

"Regina?" He always answers her calls since the incident when Henry was 5, but all in its due time. "Are you alright?"

"If I was do you think I would be calling you like this?" She said between her breathing.

"Regina, I need you to count down from 20 for me can you do that?" He said ignoring her sarcasm. "I'll start with you… 20, 19…."

She closed her eyes and tried to focus. "18, 17, 16…"

As she was counting her breathing became steady and her hand stopped shaking.

Archie stayed in silence with her on phone for another minute or two before softly saying they should schedule a session later today or tomorrow morning.

"Tomorrow." She turned her phone off without saying goodbye.

Regina heard them before she saw them and before she could think she was opening her front door as Henry passed through her like flash, she turned around and saw Miss Swan, that same red jacket – really, was it all she had to wear? – and the same expression of hungry dog on her eyes. She rolled her own.

"Thank You, Emma" She didn't need to force herself to be polited and her eyes were sincere.

"You know," the blond replied as she nodded. "Yesterday was my birthday and I had a wish… My wish was that I wouldn't be alone on it" she paced herself and Regina could feel Alice starting to take over, so strong she almost lost her balance. "And I…"

"I hope there's no misunderstandings here, Miss Swan." Alice interrupted her little speech.

And that was all Regina heard before everything went black.

When she opened her eyes again she was standing on her foyer, the noise of Alice's slamming the door forcing her to balance. Her mind was as blank as a paper and for a second she didn't know what she was doing but then she opened the door again. The blond was almost out her property, her back turned and her hair falling down her shoulders and for a second or two Regina wanted to touch it.

"Emma." She called and the woman turned in surprise, her expression completely guarded in comparison to the one she came with. Regina cursed Alice in her head.

The two women stared at each other and the blond must've seen something in her face for she stepped forward on her direction.

Regina swallowed her pride.

"I'm sorry," She said getting close to the blonde. "A…I… don't deal well with feeling threatened."

Emma shook her head, "I never threatened you, Regina"

"Your presence here threatens me," She said through her breath. "Can you see it?"

"Because of Henry?" Emma laughed. "The kid loves you, he brought me here because of you" She said and then bite her lips as if she wasn't sure she should have.

Regina laughed a bit, "Oh, I know about the saving thing Miss Swan"

The blond hide her eyes in embarrassment and her cheeks were a little pink.

"Kid's going through a fase," She started. "It will pass don't worry."

Regina scanned the woman in front of her, for some reason she didn't know, she felt she trusted the blonde, and hell in this town, the only people she trusted was Henry, Archie and to a certain stain Granny, who used to watch Henry when he was little.

She bite her lips and in that moment she could feel Alice screaming in her head and even Angel speaking softly to her but she ignored them.

"Did," She cleaned her throat. "Did Henry tell you why I needed saving?"

Emma shook her head, "No"

"At first I thought you were getting your ass beaten by your husband or something for the way he spoke, but no husband as it seems" Regina narrowed her eyes at the curse.

"Sorry" the blonde said.

Regina looked around, "Why don't we come in?" She headed towards the door. "I'll explain everything"

She was definitely going mad.

They sat down on Regina's office, both on the sofa, a big difference from the night Alice talked to woman.

"Do know what "DID" means, Miss Swan?" Regina cut to the chase, never one to sit around and wait for a solution to come out of the sky.

"Hm," Emma started drying her hands on her jeans. "not really, no?"

Regina waved it away.

"Don't worry, not many people have," She continued. "most know it as multiple personality disorder?"

"Oh," their eyes meet "Is it that thing where you're like a bunch of different people at the same time?"

"Yes."

Emma was silent for a few seconds.

"So you have that?"

Regina nodded.

"None of them would ever harm Henry," She started to explain without even knowing why, she felt like she owned this woman a explanation even tho she was the one that left him to die. "He was never in danger with me."

"I… I never thought he was," The blonde said tentative. "I mean, for a minute back there yes I did, but I'm guessing that wasn't you?"

She paused.

"I mean, it was you, but like not YOU you?"

Regina laughed a little.

"It wasn't me," she got up. "Her name's Alice."

"Hm, i'm guessing this… Alice, is not a my fan right?"

"Not really, no" Regina said with her back towards the blonde.

"Hey," She heard "I…appreciate you telling me all this stuff you know? I know it's not easy to tell personal things to a stranger, and i'm basically a stranger to you, but you know…"

"Yes, Miss Swan, I know" she said softly.

She paused.

"Regina, Alice, whoever is in there I don't know how this works, but for whatever it's worth it," Emma said getting close. "I'm not trying to steal Henry away from you, I swear."

Regina had to blink at the proximity and the words.

"So what do you really want, Emma?"

Both women were silence until the blonde took a deep breath,

"I just want to spend some time with the kid, get to know him a little you know?" Pausing, she continued. "And maybe spend some time with you too…"

Regina was sure her eyes were as wide as they've ever been.

Emma took a step back.

"So, tell me a little more about this DID thing… How does it work?"

Regina took a deep breath before following the woman to the couch once more, this she could do.


	4. Chapter 4

"So…" Emma starter after an hour or so of explaining. "They just come and go as they please? Like, you have no control at all?"

Regina shook her head.

"I used to," she paused. "Right after it started, I was about seven or eight, I could control it but well…"

"Not anymore?" She completed.

"Not anymore"

Emma paused for a second and leaned over closer to the brunette.

"I have to admit, Regina, I am… curious to meet your alters"

She chuckled.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes," Emma affirmed. "Well, I've met… Alice right?" Regina nodded. "How many are there?"

Regina paused.

"When I started therapy with Archie there were six," she breathed out loud. "I don't know why i'm telling you all this" She got up and Emma followed her.

"Hey, you know, if want to stop or something, it's not of my business, I'm sorry if I seen too curious I was out of line."

Regina nodded but disagreed.

"No," She said. "It's okay, it's just…"

Crossing the room she put herself another glass of cider, her sixth since she started the conversation, "I've never been so open about it with anyone like this"

"Even Archie, it took him months for me to speak to him."

Emma smiled.

"Does that means i'm special?"

Regina rolled her eyes.

"Do shut up, Miss Swan"

Her smile only grew.

Closing her door after saying goodbye to the blonde a few minutes after, Regina had to physically pinch herself to see if it was really her. Who knew Regina Mills could be so open about her past with someone? Even tho she didn't really tell Emma much, she told her more than most people knew about her.

Of course everyone in town knew about her D.I.D, running around as a teenager in a small town presenting herself with different names and different personalities wasn't a good way of keeping secrets, as much as her mother, Cora Mills, tried to hide it. So yes, most people know but they are never sure and it took her a long time to earn people's trust, her first time running for mayor, her disease was brought up so many times she wondered how it didn't make on the papers. It wasn't until Archie spoken up for her saying she was stable that they started to trust her. She still lost that first election tho, which, looking back wasn't a bad thing, since Albert, the man who won, did such a terrible job that by the end of a year they were begging her to take over. The next election she won without even sweating.

She wasn't so sure she was as stable tho, but her conversation with Emma gave her hope, for the first time in months she was able to spend a couple hours without even the threat of an alter coming out. And she wasn't even on her medication….

Oh, her night medication….

She considered punching herself as she ran as fast as she could to her room, she had left her purse there when she got home and her pills were always in her purse. She almost tripped on the corridor carpet before opening the door. She paused suddenly.

Henry was on her bed reading a comic book but when he saw her he put it away.

"Hey mom," he started looking apologetic.

"Henry?" she approached the bed, sitting on the right side of it, her medication already forgotten.

"Im sorry," He started. "I just… someone at school said some stuff and I saw a chance at gettting away and I thought Emma had left and…"

"Henry," she breathed out loud. "You know I have to ground you this time…"

He nodded.

"You can't keep doing this," She reached out for his hand. "I was beside myself with worry, today and yesterday."

He threw himself in her arms and she just sat there enjoying for a minute.

"I understand the need to get away from people," She starter trying to be patient. "Better than most" She felt his shaking head against her body.

"But you have to warn me Henry, I swear that if you tell me to leave you alone for a couple hours I will, but you need to let me know you're safe"

"I'm sorry, mom"

She pulled away to look into his eyes.

"And no more skipping school" She was firm about that.

"Okay." He breathed resigned.

She fixed his hair.

"Now, tell all about these boy at school and what did he say…."

Regina woke up shaking, sweat dripping from her face, she looked around and saw Henry sleeping by her side, they must've fallen asleep after talking. She grabbed her phone and looked at the time; two in the morning.

She got up and headed to the bathroom, her vision swimming in the dark, she tried to keep quiet afraid she would wake Henry up. Closing the door, she leaned against the sink and tried to throw some water in her face. Looking around for her purse she remembered that she left it in the room and went to turn around to grab it before being hint with a wave of dizziness and a lightness behind her eyes. She signed and tried to sit but it was in vain, when she opened her eyes again she couldn't control her body anymore.

Looking in the mirror she saw herself grabbing a red lipstick and heading straight to the closet bringing out a obscene green dress she keeps hidden in a box under her covers, she put it on.

Will she let Regina see her tonight?

She usually doesn't.

Blowing a kiss in Henry's direction and finishing putting up her shoes, she went down the stairs and left the house.

Angel was out baby, and she was coming to rock it.

Walking around the streets with a confidence no one has ever portrait, Angel wondered what kind of adventures she could have tonight. Graham was boring, he usually fucks her like he's forced to do so, no fun in there. Ruby it's pretty fun, the pretty thing, but usually that leads to Regina being super mad at her since the waitress it's a little… clingy.

She thought back to the afternoon, something odd had happen there, Alice was like, super mad and totally freaked out that Regina was once again in control. She even let her come out tonight…

Not that Angel need Alice's permission or whatever.

Alice is stronger than her, maybe even stronger than Regina herself and she doesn't let her play all the time but fuck it, here we go.

She turned planning on hitting the rabbit hole, the only bar around, and seeing what's good, when she saw her.

Emma fucking Swan.

Living in her car?

Angel smiled and went towards her, knocking on her window twice.

With wide eyes the blonde gently lay down her window.

"Regina?" She gasped, forgetting the window and leaving the car at once. "It's 2am, what are you doing?"

"Hey, Swan" Angel pressed her against the door. "Wanna have some fun?"

Emma opened and closed her mouth two times before answering.

"Regina, what are you doing?" Her voice sounding deeper, Angel leaned her head and pressed her nose against the blonde's throat.

"I heard you," She whispered in her hear. "Back in the house, telling her she wanted to spend time together…"

Angel's fingers were now in Emma's hair, grabbing it, she pressed her face so close to the blonde's she could feel her breathing.

"Such a silly girl, Alice would never let that happen, but me?" She moved her hands, grabbing the woman's and putting them around her body, making her hold her. "I can definitely spend some time…"

"You're not Regina" Emma said in realization.

"Aren't you a smart cookie?" Angel laughed.

"Get off me" She said firmly but not unkind while letting go of her waist.

"Oh Swan come on…" Angel putted. "It's her body you're attracted to… What's the harm?" She said getting close again.

Emma turned her head just in time for Angel to kiss her cheek.

"You're no fun, Emma Swan" the brunette said getting lose.

She went to turn around when she heard Emma murmuring in her breath.

"Regina Mills, you really are a nutcase"

Angel smiled in her direction, feeling Alice pushing her back.

"Oh dear, you have no idea."


	5. Chapter 5

Regina opened her eyes to a strong light on her left side, looking around she raised her hands trying to shed herself away from it. Turning, she felt a body besides her in the bed and she was startled to realize it wasn't Henry, the only one she remembered going to bed with last night.

"What…"

Emma opened her eyes slowly.

"Alright…" she started, "don't freak out" And Regina did.

Freak out, that's it.

"Miss Swan," Scandalized she tried to get up, looking down to see if she still had her clothes on, she did. "What is the meaning of this?"

Emma sat up comfortably in the bed and scratched her head. "Well.."

"It's a long story"

The brunette was still in shock, not only she woke up in a strange place but with Emma Swan by her side, too comfortable for her taste.

"Did we..?" Regina wanted to ask and stopped herself but not before the blonde got her intent,

"No," Emma said, her eyes big and sincere. "No way, I would never.."

Regina glared.

"I mean," Emma blushed. "I would, but like, not with how you… You know? You're like totally hot, Regina, and I did say I wanted to spend time together and whatever but I didn't mean it like that and.." Regina raised one eyebrow at her. " And I should probably shut up right?"

"You didn't mean it like that?" She asked flipping her tongue.

"Oh," Emma got up. "No, wait, I did, just not like, with the alters and stuff"

Regina backed off, she understood what the blonde wanted to say, the simple mention of her alters was enough for her to understand any hesitation, not that she wanted Miss Swan to step forward, but as in general of course.

Regina Mills did not want Emma Swan.

"I'm guessing one of my alters came out?" She said trying to rub away some of her headache as Emma nodded.

"Alice?"

Emma bit her lips.

"Angel, if i'm right"

The brunette was in silence, her mind going faster and faster. The last time Angel came out she caused so much trouble Regina was cleaning up her mess for almost a whole month. Usually the young alter would sleep with sheriff graham and that was fine, as it could be fine, for the mayor. She understood Graham and what he wants from her. The problem started when Angel became involved with Ruby Lucas, the waitress from the town's favorite restaurant and the granddaughter of the town's favorite grandma. Apparently Angel was, as she put it – in love with ruby's body – and that made the redhead think she and Regina were dating or something like that, and it took a week and half for the brunette to gather her courage and tell the other woman she wasn't and having to explain why.

Needless to say, Regina was not happy about the situation.

It was bad enough that her alters keep using her body as they wish, reserving no thoughts about what she feels, Regina also has to deal with the consequences of each one of their actions, and one of the deals she had with Alice was that she would keep a eye on Angel and not let her run loose.

Apparently, that didn't work.

Waking up besides Emma Swan without remembering how she even got here was not 'keeping a eye on thing'

'Darling, it's not my fault you repress me' She shook her head, demanding Alice to keep quiet.

'I could control her if you give me a little more power'

Regina groaned.

"Hey," She was startled by Emma's touch on her shoulder. "You okay?"

She nodded.

"What happened?" She looked around. "Where am I? Is this Granny's?"

"Yes," Emma said. "You were very wasted, I didn't want to disturb the kid."

Henry.

"Oh my… Henry," She started going around looking for a door, "I cant believe they were this irresponsible"

"Shiu," Emma got in front of the door, "I checked on him."

"You did?"

Emma nodded and Regina got suspicious.

"How?"

"Now hey, don't kill me okay?" Emma blushed again, "I just drived by and stood under his window, everything seemed fine” Her shoulders shook and the blonde looked at her like a dog looks at you when it eats your shoes.

"Miss Swan"

"I know," she said dragging the words, "But Henry's cool?"

Regina shook her head in shocked silence.

"What am I doing here, Emma?"

The blonde blinked, her expression becoming soft.

"Well… You know," She scratched her head again, "I was kind of living in my car?" Regina arched a eyebrow at her.

"Anyway," she continued. " I was in my car when you, well, Angel, came up at me trying to get me to you know…" She blushed.

"Get you to what?" Regina asked but knowing her alters, she already knew the answer.

Emma groaned in frustration and even so the sound made the brunette shiver a little bit.

"Have sex." She said quickly.

"I told her no, of course," She cleaned her throat, "She made her way to the town's bar or something, apparently there's only one, anyway, she went there and I," She blushed and Regina started to wonder how can a person blush so much in such limited space of time.

"I followed you... Her,"

"Why?" she got it out.

"I wanted to make sure you would be okay."

Regina's gaze softened up immediately and she reprimanded herself for being so emotional. She wasn't used to people worrying about her, the only ones to ever do it and mean it, was her father and her son. So to hear that the blonde in front of her, a complete stranger, went out her way to make sure she was okay moved her a little bit, not that she would ever tell.

"You stayed at the bar for a few hours, mostly talking to Ruby," Regina closed her eyes, she was begging not to hear it from the waitress. It isn't that she dislikes the woman, she just doesn't like her like that and when things get mixed up, she doesn't understand the difference between Regina herself and her alters.

Not that many do.

A lot of people in Storybrooke actually think that she makes them up, that she isn't sick and her alters are just her getting a laugh at people's expense. Mostly because she never public recognized her disease for what it is and what it entails.

"Please tell me I didn't sleep with Ruby." She begged.

Emma's eyes went as big as they could ever get and she cleaned her throat repeatedly.

"No," she said carefully before murmuring to herself 'nothing going on my ass' but the brunette choose not to press it.

"Then how did I woke up here, Miss Swan?"

"You see," Emma said sitting down once again by the edge of the bed. "Ruby and I kind of had a fight of some sorts and you were like cheering on top of a table and I admit I do regret what happened and how I…" She paused, taking a deep breath.

"I may have took you out of there in my shoulders while you screamed at me?"

Regina stared.

"In front of everyone?"

"Maybe?"

She groaned,

"I need to go home," grabbing the purse on her right only to let it go once she realized it wasn't hers. "Henry's probably waiting for me"

"Regina, hey…" Emma grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry, it wasn't my place to meddle like that." She dropped her head and Regina cursed her weak heart for skipping a beat.

"I'm not mad, Emma" She said surprising the blond and herself.

"No?"

"No" she confirmed, this time with more certain.

"And you should really find a place to stay, there’s no way living in that death trap can be healthy” The brunette said before slamming the door, leaving with her words a shocked – but pleased – blonde and not so pleased alter.

Regina Mills does indeed likes Emma Swan.


	6. Chapter 6

Getting home to a still sleeping Henry almost made her want to sit down and let out the breath she had been holding the entire way to her mansion. Her darling alter, Angel, hadn't take the car, as usual, and the mayor had to walk home in the morning like some irresponsible party girl. Really, she thought they were over this already. Closing her eyes as she went for quick shower she let her mind wander to the past night and how she had almost kiss Emm- Miss Swan - she forced herself to correct. It would do no good to go down on such paths and it wasn't 'her' Miss Swan had almost kissed, it was Angel.

To the blonde's credit she did push her alter away.

Why had she done that? Angel was right, the woman was attracted to her, even Regina herself could see it, and yet, when presented with the opportunity to have her body the blonde had said no. Not that Regina wanted her to say yes, not on those circumstances- or any – she forcefully added.

When Henry woke up she was already dressed and in the middle of making breakfast. He was getting so big and almost didn't need her for much this days so the brunette took pleasure in small things. They didn't talk much this morning, the boy ate his food in silence, probably thinking of the punishment Regina has yet to lay on him while Regina herself was distracted thinking of last night's episode still.

She took her meds and decided that she would go to Archie's as soon as Henry went to school. The mayor learned a long time ago to put her pride aside and acknowledge when she needed help, one of her many therapy lessons.

"I'm ready" Henry announced and she grabbed her keys. Most days she would drive him to school, rare were the mornings where he had to take the bus or walk. Their ride was once again engulfed in some sort of comfortable silence. They seem to do that a lot these days, long were the times where the little boy in her backseat would want to share every little observation with his mother. Now all she got were silence and attitude. At least he hasn't gone on about his birth mother, she's sure she'd lost it if she had to hear about how savior-ish the blonde woman is.

"Have a good day, sweetheart" He only groans in response before running inside. She hopes he'll stay in school today.

Taking a turn she makes her way to Archie's, his office is not far away from Henry's school. Well, the town's school, since there's only one.

Five minutes later the man opens his door and Regina is a little warmed at the comfort this place brings her. She had so many broken moments on that couch by the middle of room, so many doubts she had murmured by the window in the back and so many secrets that only this man knew.

"Good morning, Regina, I was hoping you would come."

"I said I did, didn't I?" She bites but Archie is very much used to her way of speaking and only nods before sitting down on his ridiculous red chair that for a second reminds her of some other ridiculous red things.

She groans.

"Oh my," He grabs his sessions notes, probably details of how much craziness she carries around "Tell me when your control started to fade, Regina? I thought we talked about the importance of asking for help?"

"I did- I am asking now" She sits down too "I don't believe i'm out of control, but the alters' intensity are starting to bother me again"

"Hm," Archie haven't looked at her yet and she's been here quite enough times to know his strategies too. He's about to ask something he thinks will bother her.

"How about you tell me a little about Henry's birth mother? Everyone knows she's in town for a while"

She takes a deep breath.

"There's nothing to tell" She tries.

He stares.

"I'm being honest, the woman is not as bad as one would think" She goes for friendly.

"Interesting" Archie writes something down and he's smart enough, or simply knows her well enough, to change subject. He's already got what he wanted anyway.

"Can you recount your last episodes for me please?"

And than Regina spends the next hour trying to remember her Alice's episodes and discussing Angel's. Surprisingly her alters are very quiet during the session and normally that would rise Archie's concern but he says it's normal after such exhausting activities. Her alters feel and think like independent people would and they're probably tired after fighting her control for such periods of time.

"I understand, even expect, Alice's episodes with the arrival of Henry's birth mother, Regina, but what I don't quite understand is Angel's need to come out and confront the woman" He puts down his notes and rubs his glasses. "Something is wrong and I don't like the way Alice is playing at the others, I'll have to talk to her soon but for now I'll prescribe an anxiety medication and see if it helps ok?" She agrees, what else can she do?

When she can be honest with herself she can admit that she let Alice take control of a big part of her life because it was easier. Her alter could handle her bitch of a mother, could handle the town's judgment and even whatever words Henry would say to her without really meaning them but always making her hurt. Alice could always just deal. So Regina let her, a little time here and some control there… There were times when Alice was more present than herself.

She can also admit that Angel would always act on her most deepest sexual desires – when she couldn't deal with being attracted to women Angel would go out and let her watch as she slept with woman after woman until she could do it on her own. So yes, the brunette can see quite clearly why her alter would make a move on Miss Swan.. But Archie says that's why they're here, why she created them in the first place – because she was too weak to deal with her own problems she had to make up other personalities to do it – no, it was a coping mechanism, she couldn't go down on the self loathing road, not again.

Of all mysteries surrendering her mental condition, the one that bothered her the most was why. She means, there were documented cases in which there weren't a know cause, or even babies that manifested it but her mother told her she started having episodes when she was 6 – so at some point in her life she was normal – she was free. What took that from her? What made her need to created this alters?

Alice and Angel aren't even the tip of the iceberg, she has alters that haven't visited her in years – thank whatever God is there – Alters that would leave her crying and terrified locked up in her room. Even Gina, sweet and innocent seems to cary much more depth than Alice and Angel put together. A broken glass and a panic attack that followed seems to make Dr. Hopper believe in a abuse being the cause and even tho Cora was never the warmest of all mothers, Regina doesn't believe in that theory.

But no matter, leaving his office she tries – like she always does- to leave her demons behind these doors and just enjoy the life she managed to built for herself in spite of any trauma she may have yet to face. She has her son, which she loves more than anything in the world. She has her job, which she values and respects too much and just as she was getting close to the car, she sees the blonde – Miss Swan – Emma, waving at her coming from Henry's school and she can admit, because she's in the self observing mood today, that maybe – just maybe – she has other things too.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this very drunk

Regina watched as the blonde crossed the street, her destination very clear and a determined look on her face. For a second she hoped that the woman wouldn’t ask anything of her right now, she was still feeling pretty raw after her session – as she usually does. At the same time, Regina wanted her to ask, to stop this dance they seem to have fallen into in the few days – was it really only a few days?

 

“Hey Regina,” she waved as she got close, blocking the car’s door. “guess what?” 

 

The mayor blinked. 

 

“I don’t know, Miss Swan, maybe you’re leaving town after all?” Emma just laughed and the brunette was a little bit pleased her bite tone didn’t have the effect she went for. 

 

“Nope, guess again” 

 

“Well, by your behavior my guess would be that you’re a child” 

 

Emma laughed harder and she had to blink a little in a conscious effort not to join in. 

 

“Just tell me already, will you? Since you’re so desperate to share” 

 

“Okay, okay” She paused and reached out for a badge she was discreetly hiding “Guess who’s your new Sheriff’s Deputy?” 

 

Regina just stared and managed to murmur a quiet “What” before turning a hard state in the blonde’s direction. 

 

“What?” She repeated loudly. 

 

“Well, I said I wanted to stay in town for a little bit didn’t I? So I needed some kind of job, so I talked to Graham and he said I had some experience, because of you know my times as – anyway, I had experience and he needed help at the station – I also think he has a crush on me but you know…” She was rambling. 

 

Wait a second… a crush?? 

 

“Miss Swan, stop it” The mayor had to take a deep breath, technically she had little power over who Graham wanted to hire as his deputy but she expected a little more of thought on his part – what if she wasn’t as fine as she was with Emma staying? What then? The sheriff was probably only thinking with his lower head and she would not have it. 

 

“I’ll talk to the Sheriff myself, although, I won’t mention that you know of his crush as you called. He’ll probably ask you until the end of the week,” God, she just couldn’t help herself could she? “Good day, Miss Swan” 

 

“No, Regina, wait”

She made a move to the car but the blonde surprised her again and grabbed her arm gently, basically trapping both of them against the door and effectively hiding themselves from the prying eyes across the street, curious what the mayor would do the woman. 

“I said I think he has a crush on me, I didn’t say I was interested. In fact, I’m the opposite of interested since I already have my eyes on someone else you know?” Emma stared at her and brought herself closer while Regina could only remain still. It didn’t take a genius to know just about who the blonde was talking about and the brunette could admit that maybe she had her eyes right back at her. 

 

“Hm,” she murmured and with a movement that later she wouldn’t admit she started, she closed the distanced between them, their faces so close that she could almost feel Emma’s breath on her lips. “Is that so?” she managed to whisper as she looked deep into the green eyes in front of her, feeling so light that for a second she imagined maybe she was flying. Closing her own eyes for a second she almost felt out of her body, the sensation so familiar and yet so foreign she had taken a second to realize what was happing. Too late to stop it she just let it go. 

 

“Well, would you look at what we have here?” She felt the words coming out of her mouth, Alice taking over little by little. There was no point in fighting but Regina tried anyway. She knew she lost it when she felt herself pushing Emma away- 

 

“Wait, what?” the saw the blonde’s confusion but she knew she would catch up soon and even if she didn’t, Alice was never one to pretend. She lost a little of a back and forth conversation happening in front of her, Alice was trying to push her away and making her go blind but Regina fought it. She didn’t know how, she never managed to do it before. She always had to ask, to beg, and maybe the alters would let her see but right now – she wanted to see it. Maybe because for the first time she actually felt something for someone else besides Henry, maybe because she just left a session quite hopefully or maybe just because she was really tired of not being in control of her own body. She fought it – it was like trying to swim against the current or like fighting hard to stay awake when your body wants to shut down but damn it – she did it. 

 

“- no idea what you’re talking about, lady” she managed to hear the blonde say. Regina could see she was very guarded and if she didn’t know better she would even say the blonde in front of her now and the one in her arms earlier were completely different personas. 

 

“Well, you’re very welcome to explain it to me then” She felt it coming out of her mouth “I’m not stopping you, dear” She was right, that was Alice, but did her alter know she was watching? 

 

For the first time in years Regina felt hope, she was fighting and she was winning. She could see and hear everything without their permission- even without their knowledge. 

 

“That’s personal you know? And maybe yeah, I’ll tell Regina someday but not like this” Emma said angrily. 

 

“Then there’s no reason why I should let you get close to her” 

 

“I don’t think this is for you to decide” 

 

“You’re right, Miss Swan, you don’t think” 

 

Suddenly her body was her own again. She blinked. 

 

“Regina?” 

 

“Hi” She said shyly. Is this when Emma leaves? And why should she care? But she does. 

 

“Alice really, really, doesn’t like me right?” The blonde laughs and the brunette has to question – even for a moment – if Alice isn’t right, how can someone be so blade about a situation like this? 

 

“Well, she hasn’t tried to poison you yet, so you’re clear” Emma laughs harder at that. 

 

“Right,” she scratches her head “I actually wanted to ask you something” 

 

“oh” she murmurs as Emma gets close once more. 

 

“A date” Emma says a little awkward. “I guess there isn’t a lot of places we could go here but maybe just a dinner or we walk by the park or –“ 

 

“Emma,” Regina cuts her off gently “ I don’t think that’s a good idea” 

 

“But why?” Emma asks adorably and the brunette has to restrain herself for reaching out and caressing the frown on her face. 

 

“I just- “ she tries “ I just have a lot going on at the moment, you’ve witnessed it” 

 

“You mean the alters stuff?” she nods “ Regina, I told you I don’t care about that” 

 

That’s her chance to know. 

 

“But why?” she sounds angrier than she is “How can you not care? Everyone cares, it’s a freak show so to speak, Miss Swan, you should care” Emma opens her mouth but she continues 

“And besides that, there’s Henry to think about, have you thought about that? How would he react to his mother and the woman who gave birth to him dating?” 

 

“I didn’t think that far” the blonde manages to put out 

 

“Of course you didn’t” 

 

They stare at each other. It’s not like Regina doesn’t want to say yes but everything she says it’s truth and she can’t just jump into this person and not think about what it means to herself, her alters and more importantly Henry. 

 

“Oh, had an idea” The blonde suddenly brightens up again 

“We spend some time together, you and me, just to try it out… We can talk about the alters stuff, the Henry stuff, the everything stuff-“ she raises her eyebrows and the blonde laughs “Lets call it pre-dating”

 

Regina can’t help but smirk. 

 

“You’re persistent” 

 

Emma doesn’t even try to deny it. 

 

“When I get something in my head I can be very stubborn,” she pauses “see, that’s stuff you need to know if we want to date – we need the pre-date” 

 

“And what would that entail?” 

 

“Well…” the deputy considers “Definitely coffee, some bagels – because I work with the sheriff department now so it’s kind of a rule –“ Regina can’t help but laugh at that and Emma pauses for a second. 

 

“And that,” Is the most serious the blonde has ever been with her “Lots and lots of that laugh” 

 

Really, how in the world can she say no after that? 

 

“Yes”

**Author's Note:**

> Just transferring my fics here.


End file.
